Is it about going to yoga classes, deep breathing, Pilates, smoothies or nature? Is it about how you feel in your own skin? Is it about the number on the scale or the results of your blood tests? There are so many articles about health and wellness that it’s easy to start “should-ing” ourselves. I should do this, I should do that. In essence, we actually cause ourselves to feel more dis-ease as we think about wellness, which in turn has the exact opposite effect.

Wellness actually stems from being in alignment with your higher self, the freer, more expansive version of you. It is the part of you that knows you have a body, but you are more than that, that you have a personality, but you’re more than that. True well-being stems from a deep connection to who you are. Notice that the phrase is well-being, not well-doing. Doing more things doesn’t necessarily equate to greater wellness unless what you are doing feels really good to you. Here are three steps you can take to cultivate a deeper sense of wellness.

Stop “Should-ing”

Every time you hear yourself saying, “I should” it is a pretty clear signal that you are trying to force yourself to do something that isn’t in alignment with you. I should go to that party. I should start drinking green smoothies. Notice the shoulds and how they actually form a contraction and a feeling of uneasiness in your body.

Ask Yourself, “What Would I love?”

If you want to become physically healthier, ask yourself these questions: When I think about foods that would nourish me, what would I love? When I think about exercise, what do I love? When you begin with what you love and what feels good to you, you are in a state of well-being. Doing more of what you love in all of the different aspects of your life will lead to wellness.

Notice Your Energy During Daily To-Dos

I know what you’re thinking, “Lauren, I can’t just do what I love. I have dishes in the sink, kids to feed, and responsibilities!” At the level of fact, this is true. And, a greater truth is you have an amazing power you were gifted with at birth: you are a creator. You create every moment in your life by how you approach it. When you do dishes, do you love to do them in the morning or night? Would you rather have a dishwasher? Would it be more enjoyable if you listened to music while doing them? You get to create the tone of your “to-do” list. Listen to the voice inside of you that knows what feels good.

When you stop should-ing, you start living. You can live a life you absolutely love, and it starts with you. Wellness is a state of being that you can connect to in any moment.

By Lauren Brollier

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